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The brain chemistry behind unforgettable stays

Most likely you already know that great service is the key, but do you know why? And how to build a recipe for success?


In the hospitality world, a memorable guest experience isn’t just about fluffy pillows and room service at 2 a.m. It’s about tapping into the very chemicals that make people feel good—and we’re not talking about the kind you sip by the pool. We’re talking brain chemistry: dopamine and oxytocin, the dynamic duo that decides whether your guests leave with a smile (and maybe even a 5-star review) or a polite “it was fine.”


Here’s the secret: if you can spark these brain chemicals, you’re not just providing a nice stay—you’re creating memories they’ll never forget. Let’s dive in!


Dopamine & Oxytocin - Your guest experience cornerstones

Dopamine is the brain’s way of saying, “Hey, that was awesome, let’s do it again!” It’s the feel-good, reward chemical that keeps people motivated and coming back for more. Whether it’s from a delicious meal, a great view, or an unexpected upgrade, dopamine gives guests that rush of satisfaction.


Example:

  • Think about the buzz you feel when you open your email and find out you’ve been upgraded to first class on your next flight. It’s that instant boost of excitement that leaves you thinking, “This trip just got so much better.”

  • Picture the thrill of checking into your room and discovering a surprise bottle of wine, just because. That little unexpected moment? That’s dopamine kicking in, making you feel like you’ve hit the jackpot.


Oxytocin is your connection chemical. It’s what makes people feel warm and fuzzy inside, whether it’s from a heartfelt conversation or a friendly smile. This is what builds trust, loyalty, and that “I’m definitely coming back here” feeling.


Example:

  • Imagine arriving at a hotel you’ve stayed at before, and the staff not only remembers your name but also your favourite drink order. That sense of belonging? That’s oxytocin working its magic, making you feel like you’re right at home.

  • Think about the warmth you feel when someone goes out of their way to help you—like a concierge recommending a hidden gem of a restaurant and making a reservation for you. That personal connection is what creates a lasting bond, thanks to oxytocin.


Why should you care about brain chemistry?

Simple, people are wired to chase happiness (hello, dopamine) and seek connection (what’s up, oxytocin). When you understand that, you can turn a basic hotel stay into a wow moment guests won’t stop talking about. And, yes, the ultimate goal is to get them to book again—because let’s be real, a loyal customer is the hospitality jackpot.


How to trigger dopamine - The thrill factor

Dopamine’s all about making guests feel like they’re winning at life. It’s the thrill of the unexpected reward, the little delights that keep them buzzing. Here’s how you can hit that sweet spot:

  • Exclusive access: Hook them up with something they can’t get anywhere else—a VIP tour, a behind-the-scenes experience, or front-row tickets to that sold-out show.

  • Surprise perks: Leave a curated playlist, their favourite snack, or a handwritten note in their room. It’s those small, thoughtful details that guests will remember.

  • Complimentary upgrades: Upgrade their room or surprise them with a better view—no strings attached.

  • Welcome drinks: Greet them with a signature cocktail or a refreshing mocktail as soon as they walk in. It’s the perfect way to say, “You’ve arrived, now relax.”

  • Seasonal gifts: Throw in a little something tied to the season or your location—like a holiday ornament or a local treat.


Boosting oxytocin - The connection creator

If dopamine is the thrill, oxytocin is the hug. It’s what makes guests feel like they’re not just customers—they’re family. Here’s how to strengthen that bond:

  • Warm welcomes: Greet guests by name and with a smile that says, “We’ve been expecting you.”

  • Personalised service: Remember their preferences from previous stays—whether it’s their favourite coffee order or room temperature.

  • Community vibes: Host social activities like morning yoga, group dinners, or happy hours. It’s all about making people feel like they belong.

  • Celebrate milestones: Surprise them with a cake, a card, or even a little bubbly on their birthday or anniversary.

  • Parting gifts: Send them off with a small memento—something that reminds them of their time with you and makes them want to come back.


The power duo - Mixing dopamine & oxytocin for maximum Impact

Now, here’s where the magic happens. Imagine a guest gets a complimentary room upgrade (hello, dopamine), followed by a warm, personal welcome by name (cue oxytocin). It’s the perfect one-two punch that not only makes them feel special but also builds a connection. They’re not just thinking, “This place is nice”—they’re feeling, “I belong here, and I can’t wait to come back.”

Or think of any other one-two punches from the list of examples above!


By combining these two powerhouse chemicals, you’re turning a good stay into a great one. And before you know it, your guests are not only returning—they’re bringing friends, family, and everyone else they know.


Want to learn more?

Read the fantastic book by David JP Phillips "High on life" (Swedish: "Sex substanser som förändrar ditt liv") about brain chemicals and how they affect us (and then teach your kids about dopamin!), available at Amazon and most Swedish book stores.

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